自尊培训和发展
Self Esteem
如果没有自己的自我价值观的坚实基础，你的自尊就可以很快而轻松地击倒。
让我们采取自尊心。
难道你不希望你有更多的自尊吗？
Measuring Self Esteem
这是自尊周围发生的事情。大多数人通过外部评估自己，并通过他们的头脑中的一些不可能的测量来展望他们的自尊。
- 我是如何进行评估的？
- Do my colleagues like me?
- 我受到了足够的赞美吗？
现在，寻找核查和肯定的外部没有错。我们确实需要对他人的承认来支持我们的自我意识。
但是，如果自尊是完全基于外部以及别人的想法，那么你将不断依靠“他们”来让你感觉良好。您需要从别人那里获得不断增加的批准以继续进行。
自我价值
Without a firm foundation of your own view of自我价值，您的自尊可以很快轻松地击倒。
然后你会发现自己在觉得糟糕并扮演'如果只有'游戏时责备外部：
"If only such and such had happened (or hadn't happened) then I'd feel better and things would be OK."
“如果只是这样，所以会告诉我我是怎么做的，然后我会没事的。”
当然，这意味着另一个自我延续的循环。
Giving Away Your Power
你让你的自尊心依赖于他人，这意味着你将你的“权力”远离他们。
如果他们没有想出货物（通常在你的头上，那么另一个人真的不知道他们应该想出的商品是什么）那么你觉得很糟糕，你的尊重下降。
Your need for outside affirmation grows and you rely more on externals than before which gives your power away and undermines your self-esteem. Get the picture?
所以。我们现在真的让你失望了吗？它真的不如所有那么糟糕。
To the rescue!
永远不要害怕，影响工厂的bob综合app这里。当事情感觉真正粗糙时，我们有一些提示和提示来帮助你。
Internal Assessment
唯一一个开始的地方与你在一起。正如我们所说，外部确认是好的。里面更好。
所以，这是一个开始球滚动的运动。列出您已经拥有的所有品质和技能。我们的意思是一切。
在页面的顶部把“我”然后你的列表,such as: have a warm smile, am a good listener, can ride a bike well, do the washing up without being nagged, like to help my colleagues, can be relied upon, am efficient.
这需要是一个很长的名单。
避免否定
No negatives; not a one. And notice what your head is doing through all of this.
I am a good listener. Well, sometimes I'm a good listener, but there are times when I'm really rushed and don't have the time I'd like to give to people.
I can ride a bike well. Of course, I'm not an expert. I don't race or anything and some of my friends join those charity bike-a-thons. I've never done that.
等等。
Quieting the Negative Voices
真的很难做这些列表没有这些negative thoughts creeping in. Actually, they don't creep, they storm in; they shove and push their way in and YELL REALLY LOUDLY to drown out the positives. You may not be able to shut them up, but it's interesting; the longer your list is, the quieter those voices get. Try it; you'll see.
Having made your list, now go to a couple of people you genuinely trust and ask them what they like about you. Add to your list. No negatives. No 'needs developing' or 'could do better' or 'Yes, buts'.
Passions, Beliefs and Values
接下来列出你的激情，信仰和价值观：你对真正强烈的事情;让你失望的东西;信仰和价值观对你很重要。对于这个列表添加你所知道的事情，就像一个伴侣，房子，你的家庭，一些志愿者工作，你的工作，爱好等的部分，最终添加了激励和激励你的东西 - 你听的音乐 - 你听的音乐，走路，你钦佩的人，你读的作者，你津津有味的食物等。
Gather these lists together and look at them, deciding a few things from each list that sum you up. Then write a Personal Statement about yourself incorporating the most important bits. Read your statement out loud. Read it to other people. Read it each night before you go to bed and first thing when you wake in the morning: this is who I am.
您需要知道并承认您可以依赖的品质，技能，价值观和信念，并告诉世界您是谁。如果你不承认这些，为什么要别的？
Practically Perfect
我们所知道的东西与妨碍高自尊的方式被捆绑在于完美主义。你必须搞定;你必须第一次得到它，你必须完美。你必须能够做到一切。完美。
听起来很傻，不是吗？
在影响bob综合app工厂，我们实际上是完美的（偶尔偶尔，足够好的）思想学院。每次都没有人能够一直搞定它。他们也不应该。多么暴政。不幸的是，它是您能够批量击败武器的武器的方式之一，因为你没有得到它。它也是一个非常好的理由，阻止自己尝试新事物，因为你知道你无法搞定它并得到它完美。
You can, however, be 'practically' perfect. You can choose what practically perfect could look like (which isn't perfection by the way) and aim for that. Doing it that way will make your life a whole lot easier. You will have less to fret and worry about and your energy can go into what you can 'borrow' to make yourself feel better rather than into giving yourself a hard time about what you aren't able to do.
拿回你的力量
Earlier we talked about the fact that if you measure your esteem mostly through externals you give your power to others. If your feelings continuously rely on others' acknowledgement and affirmation you take a passive role while you wait for them to give you what you need.
我们还表示，外面的致谢很重要，但我们知道具有低自尊的人对别人的想法提供了过度的重要意义。再一次，他们保持被动。当然，他们在他们的大脑上非常积极。他们责怪别人很多让他们感觉不好;他们在他们的脑海中谈论别人应该对他们说什么，并弥补他们没有的假设;相当简单，他们让自己感觉更糟。
他们也去寻找一个“伙伴”，向其他人抱怨别人的感受或者如何，所以没有给他们任何反馈或者他们如何不受欢迎。和上。
如果您愿意，您可以立即停止此向下螺旋。
Step One.停止抱怨别人。停止闲聊。停止告诉别人对别人有什么问题。停止呻吟着你的命运。你将无法完全这样做 - 也许佛陀可以，但不是凡人。但是你可以减少你的日常剂量的不满。
第二步。让人们知道你的成就。有时候其他人没有注意到或不认为评论或可能在他们的头上发表评论，但这些词语不会出来嘴巴。如果你等他们告诉你你有多辉煌，你可能需要等待很长一段时间。所以先告诉他们。不是泵送的自我方式;只是带来他们的注意力，对你很重要。
第三步。在反馈方面询问您想要的内容。如果您没有尽可能地获得尽可能多的致谢，那就去找人并询问它们。啊，我们听到你说，“但如果我要要求它并不意味着那么多。”为什么不？不是每个人都在你的大脑前面，你的态度。
Step Four。Many of you may remember that a few years ago a non-existent commencement address (not) by Kurt Vonnegut whizzed around the internet. It was soon discovered that it was a piece written for the Chicago Tribune by Judith Schmich. Anyway, one of the pieces of advice she gave was not to read beauty magazines, they'll just make you feel ugly.
So our fourth step is don't read beauty magazines. In other words, it's back to the comparisons are odious things. Don't voluntarily put yourself into situations where you will just feel bad about yourself, where you will reinforce the worst bits about you rather than the good bits. Avoid people who tell you what you need to fix or improve in order to get better at stuff.
This means you need to see more of the people who think you're wonderful and give you positive feedback and less of the ones who think they know you better than you know yourself.
自尊不是你可以买的东西（我们不希望），但你可以积累它：注意，并突出每天在小事中的最佳人们，而你的自尊将增长。我们保证。
Assertiveness and Self-Esteem
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