Be Assertive and Take Charge of Your Life!

自信

关于如何在人们个人和专业的人跨越界限时如何发展自信行为的自信纪律的建议。

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety。“
本杰明·富兰克林

不要成为门垫

你生病了，厌倦了像搬运工具一样对待，让人们走遍你？

如果您回答是的，请阅读...

是时候了学会断言自己尊重和尊重您的个人和专业界限。

Setting Boundaries

自信是重要的，因为如果你不能为自己寻找，没有其他人会。

We have all at one time or another experiencedboundary violations来自朋友，亲戚或同事是故意或无意的。

不舒服的遭遇

这种遭遇会变得非常不舒服，难以处理，特别是在与您所喜孔的人交易时。

How can you stop the cycle of abuse and take control of your life?

It starts with self-honouring and self-respect.

Know Yourself

了解你的优势和劣势，知道你的代价以及你不居住的东西，了解你的界限。

因为希腊人曾经说过

"Know thyself and you will know the Gods and the universe。“

不同的生活领域

Be aware of your physical, emotional, and social boundaries in the different areas of your life including personal, professional, family, and relationships.

花时间与界限违规者诚实和自信地沟通，让他们知道没有不确定的术语，你不欣赏以某种方式对待并且不会容忍它。

Different Circumstances

根据您的工作，个性和情况，不同的情况会呼吁处理此类问题的不同自信方式。

例如，Rebecca Rosenblat（Aka Date）是多伦多性治疗师，他对性关系进行了讲座，并在床上驾驶一个人的情人。

As you can imagine, she is having her boundaries violated all the time.

错误的假设

许多人错误地假设，因为她是一个公众人物和性别的权威，他们有权使性无辜和不恰当的言论。

如果这不够糟糕，那么一些疯狂的人认为他们实际上有权与她发生性关系！

One such person walked up to her after she finished delivering her seminar and bluntly stated he wanted to have sex.

Quick Wit

She laughed and quickly brushed him off by saying, "My seminar was about driving YOUR own lover wild in bed...not me...I have my own husband!"

In her profession, Dr. Date finds humour and a sharp, quick wit to be most effective.

适当的回应

One time, somebody had physically grabbed her. In response, she kneed him right in the crotch!

这个人并不太聪明，问过一个愚蠢的后续问题

"Why did you do that for?"

她回答了

"You touched my ass, I touched your crotch!"

Verbal Response

在丽贝卡的案例中，由于她的职业的性质，她选择以口头方式和身体虐待以言语虐待的辱骂。

但违规者要小心！

社会不合适

不仅是社会不合适的这种行为，这只是简单的愚蠢。

您最终可以享受法院命令，挽救生命的诉讼，或一些严重的监狱。

People who continually violate their friend's boundaries need to back off and smarten up.

这是一个灾难的谱系，最终会破坏这么长时间才能建造的关系。

自信建议

我们都有喜欢提供自主建议的朋友，但很少遵循自己。

他们走得太远，他们开始告诉你该怎么做与你的生活。

这些人认为，因为他们是你的朋友，他们有权告诉你该做什么并试图改变你。

It's Unlikely You'll Change

如果你没有改变并做他们告诉你的事情，他们就可以亲自接受。

犯下这种关系罪的朋友应该醒来，闻到咖啡。

我的留言是，

"Stop! Take a long look in the mirror and realise that the only person that can change is YOU!

停止尝试从邻居的眼睛中取出灰尘，然后从自己身上取下木板！“

十大名单

Make a top ten list of how you may be violating other people's boundaries and work towards eliminating these bad habits from your life.

If you feel you are a victim of such 'boundary hunters', you need to sit down with such friends and explain to them honestly and assertively what you are feeling and how you want to be treated in such circumstances.

Feeling Supported

您可能首先说明某些事情：

"I don't like it when you keep telling me what I need to do with my life.

有时候作为朋友，我只是想向你信任并感到支持。

I'm not looking for advice, just some understanding and empathy."

End the Relationship

如果边界过境滥用的这种模式继续不减，那么我将强烈建议您通过结束关系来尊重自己并继续前进。

“但是如果这个人恰好是我的老板怎么办？”

you might ask

"Won't it jeopardise my job and future opportunities for promotion?"

为自己发声

My answer to this question is a direct one: regardless of whether it's a family member, friend, co-worker, or even employer.

如果你不喜欢你被治疗的方式，那就脱颖而出！

Have the courage to confront whoever it is who is crossing your boundaries and exercise your right to be treated as a free and intelligent human being.

即使这意味着终止关系，离开或从工作中解雇。

持续的虐待

You don't deserve to be continually mistreated in any situation.

In fact, in many cases the person being confronted will have a new found respect for you when you show enough backbone and courage and stand up for who you are.

如果你尊重和尊重自己，并以你想要接受对待的同样尊严对待他人，你的整个生命都会变得更好。

从这一天前进，承诺让自己断言，为您的个人自由而备受支配，从来没有让任何人继续越来越过你的界限！

This article was submitted by Sharif Khan